Friday, August 29, 2008

Can You Keep a Secret???

So, I listen to Sirius (radio) "Morning Mash with Rich, Ryan and Nicole" on the way to drive my oldest daughter to school every morning. They are funny to listen to. Their topic for today was "Do you keep your secrets from your loved one?" Oh it was very intereting.

One of the DJ's Rich said, "you know, the girls want to throw their secrets to their men's faces." I think I could agree with him. Girls tend to speak and wanting to tell everything in their minds. I often find myself getting into a trouble by saying too much or being honest which included talking about ex's. And I do believe most men don't talk a lot about their past to their girlfriends or wives. My husband doesn't talk alot where I tend to talk about it. I usually don't like secrets because it usually pararells to telling lies in order to keep secrets.
But please don't get me wrong, if my friend ask me to keep a secret, I think I'm the most trusted person to do the part because my friendships with my friends are sacred.

Anyway, so the dj's asked all the listeners bunch of questions; "do you keep secrets or you don't keep secrets. Do you tell your partners your secrets?" -- well many listner called in and one of the female listners said "Well, there are secrets that my husband does't know and he will never know..." Apparently, she was a stripper and also used to date his friend whom her husband hates now. But really, is it that bad to be a stripper? I understand that everybody has a past that not necessary he or she's proud of. I've done pretty shameless things myself. But then, if you marry someone, I think you ought to tell the significant other pretty much everything before you step in to the band of eternity... Don't you agree?

I understand, maybe many guys don't like to know their girlfriends/wives used to strip, but I figure they'll find out soon or later unless you moved to a differnt city or county or even a state???

I have several good friends who used to be strippers. And I have nothing against with it. I mean, they're making their own money, paying taxes and paying bills. Some of them even raised children. People may say, "oh exotic dancers = no class." I disagree 100%. I see so many unclassy people who have good jobs or have ton of money. I am a firm believer that one's classiness doesn't come from the job you have or financial status you have. Well, it's true there are skanky dancers as well, but that apply to any type of people. WIth that said, in my book, people with class is about who you are, how you carry yourself and who know how to treat others with respect. Rich men who treat waitlesses like their maids or servants, those guys have no class. So, my friends take care of themselves, proud of what they used to do and they don't hide their past. I understand some people connect it with self worth and self diginity, but my former dancer friends would say, "Well, that's the only thing would pay me well enough to support my living long time ago."

Well, I kind of got sidetrack here, but all of them are either married or in a relationship now. Their boyfriends or husbands know that they used to strip.. But what a hey, they have different jobs now, enjoying their life and they still can laugh about their past occupation.

I know it's okay to have secrets; they are often for protecting other people's feeling or well being. But if the secrets are to deceive others, then I'm not a big fan. Actually, I know secrets are very complicated and it's not that simple to be black and white..

Questions come to my mind are: Do you have a secret(s), if so, are you willing to keep them forever in your heart???


Ella said...

there are some things that are just better left unsaid. things in the past that belong in the past. my hubby knows every thing and i mean e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. about my past (somewhat colored but i'm reformed!) and it's not always a positive that he knows it all.

Maki said...

ella: hello! i think we all have some sort of secret or grey area where you just can't be black and white. that's good that your husband knows everything about your past. maybe true, it may not always positive, but i would like to have that kind of relationship with my husband :) thanks for your comment!

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