My Blog As I Know It.

Hello my dearlies - how have you been? Are you enjoying the nice fall weather? I woke up this morning with coooool breeze - It's 65 degree out! When the temprature gets so crazy hot during summer, I always think FL doesn't get to see nice fall weather, but it came rather quickly - it sneaked up on us! But it's so nice to be able to open the windows and turn off AC and smell the crisp air outside..

Anyways, as you know, I've been slacking on posting - what a hay, that hasn't changed for the past 12 months actually. I always say that I'm feeling the weird funk, ja, ja... But I know it's more than just a funk.

I started this blog over two and a half years ago because I love to write. I love to write about my family or my friends, or current events or Hollywood. For the first six months, I posted on daily basis and I know I really loved getting all kinds of comments - there were times I got over 30 comments! I have so many things to say about life and sharing about it with you have been my true joy.

Over the course of two years though, things had happened and I sort of lost the mojo or should I say the passion for this blog. What happened was that one of my family member was reading my blog without telling me and it had sparked a full blown debate in the family circle.

I don't want to get in to it, but when I have to censor my own posting or need to be careful about what I would write in my own blog, that beomes hard. I've never bad mouth my family members in my blog nor talked negatively about my friends and family, but I have to make sure not to say too much about them.

My blog is not a fashion blog - My blog is my diary and talk about my daily joy and struggle that I go through every day. If I have to exclude the events that happen in my life which includes my family, then my point of this blog becomes half important. I have struggled to find a way to write it because a lot of times, my life becomes comical when I have dinner with my in-laws or go out with them, but I have to second guess everything that I want to write.

My family members know about my blog now and they tell me they don't care, but really, I'm still struggling to find the mutural ground to entertain my lovely blogging friends and sustain the integrity of my family and friends.

This month is my birthday month, so there are many things that I want to figure out : My life, the future of this blog, my business. I think I'm going to be very busy, but I really want to post a lot more than recent.

Oh by the way, my last day at work was last week and I officially started my career as a full time artist!! Um, it's kind of nerve wracking!

Hope you're having a lovely week! xoxo

Inception...

I LOVED THIS MOVIE!!!!

Honestly, it was 20 times better than Matrix.

The story sounded so complicated, and yet it totally made sense!

The visual and sound effects were stunning and storyline was so clever.

It was unbelieveable!!

And seeing it in IMAX made the whole experience so much better, too.

I'm usually not a big fan of SciFi films, but this one, I give two thumbs up plus toes up!

BTW, I have tried to post an entry which I talked about my husband and Bachelorette, but it keeps giving me error, so I decided to write about this movie.

Oh man, I want to see it again!!!

Have you seen it?

Anyway, I know I have been pretty awful about posting - and I figured out why.

1. My husband being here made it difficult.

2. Kids are out of school = summer. I thought kids being home would make it easy for me to blog, but I was wrong. I think I feel bad about not paying attention to my girls and facing the computer all the time. But when I try to blog after the girls go to bed, I must say, I'm usually exhausted.

I sit down in front of my computer, but the idea of having to type, upload pics or vids and write a post kind of stress me out. I tell myself, I'll finish it tomorrow and 6 days go by. Not good.

3. Work - I only work twice a week now, but my work wouldn't let me go online, so I can never post while I'm there at the salon. Oh yes, I'm trying to quit and will need your advise on it, too.

Miss you all so much..

xoxo

Let's Celebrate!

{My Husband...}

{One of my favorite photo of us..} {I don't know why, but he was licking my face.. LOL.}

I have two things to celebrate today...

First thing first, today is our 7th Anniversary since we got married. 7 years!! Wow..

As many of you know that it's been a rough week for both of us which definitely has reinforced our commitment to each other and our family. Because JT hasn't been feeling 100%, we decided to postopone our anniversary dinner date until he feels better. However, we went to our weekly Sunday dinner at JT's mom's and celebrate with the family. JT had not been at Sunday dinner for over a month because he works Sunday nights. Our daughters were very happy that their daddy got to enjoy Sunday dinner with everyone and it was very heartwarming evening.

It amazes me how two people can work differences and stay together for so long. Of course I don't pretend that everything is great between JT and I, but we love each other and we'll keep continue to love each other. Marriage is not all rosey and dreamy, but walking the life together hand in hand, side by side and not giving up. And I believe JT and I will be together and grow old together...

I love this song - it's so perfect for our anniversary althought Paul Davis looks scary. LOL


Happy Anniversary Sweetie!!!

Another thing to celebrate today is that today is my 200th post! Actually I totally forgot about my 100th post and when I realized it was like 110th, so I couldn't wait to celebrate my 200th! I want to thank you all my sweeties who have been reading my blog - I haven't been doing a good job of posting it daily for the past few months, but I'm hoping to get that groove back on soon.

Again, thanks SOOOOOOOO much for all your support and I love you!!

I hope you had a wonderful weekend!

xoxo

I Am Sorry...

I am a slacker... I am supposed to post some stuff on my blog for the past few weeks: I've been tagged by Taraand I've wanted to play this game that LBluca was doing and she even has given me the instruction. I also have been given two awards by BakerGirl and freeTEYme and yet to post them. I'm doing it, but it's been a very slow process. I know, I know, I'm a loser... But, I am tired! I am exhausted.... I am sooooo a zombie right now.

My dear friends - Please help me? What would you do to break from a blogging funk and non-stop exhaustion?

What Is Happiness?

For the past few weeks, I have had tough time going to bed or falling asleep. Even when my body says I'm exhausted and need some sleep, I find myself either facing computer @ 2 am or in bed tossing and turning for hours, just to realize it's 3am. It has to do a lot with uneasiness and uncertainty that my life brings at the moment, non-stop thoughts racing through my tiny brain. It also has to do a lot with my husband losing the job in December and hasn't been able to find a new job for over a month. And it's making me really nervous.

And that has got me into thinking about my life lately. A lot. What is my life and what's in it; what is my choice in life that I can provide the best for my daughters? I'm trying to figure out the meaning of life itself...

The question that comes to my mind always and first is, "What is happiness?" - is it wealth? Is it all the money you make and how rich you can be? Does it have to be fame? If you're a Hollywood star, would that make you happy (because they are loaded!!)? Or is it the simple thing you have and feel in your life; looking at the beautiful blue sky or feeling the beautiful breeze. What is happiness?

I know the answer, and for me, it is my two daughters. As cheesy as it may sounds, my daughters are my everything and they have shaped my happiness the moment they were born. But when I feel I am not doing my job to provide what they deserve, I question my ability as a mother.

Life brings you expected and unexpected events and some times you have no control over what's to come. Honestly, JT losing his job was one of those unexpected events that we had no control over and it's not fair to blame him. But I can't deny the fact that it has given us tremendous grief and trial. It sucks because the finacial burden has weigh so much on our relationship right now that even when I know money is not everything, it is definitely causing the tention between me and my husband, hense I often ask myself, "is money = happiness?" That is kind of shallow, I know..

Today JT is going for another interview. I am praying. I'm praying really hard that he gets this job. We are in serious need of a miracle...

What is happiness to you, dear readers? Are you happy now?

This Is My Day - I'm gonna enjoy it!!!!

Today is my SITS day! I received a letter from Heather over at The Secret Is In The Sauce last week that my turn will be soon. I've waited and waited for so long, I can't believe the day is here. I am doing my favorite Happy Dance! Whooo Hooo!!! I am so excited that I get to meet new fellow bloggers - Welcome, Ladies from SITS and my dear readers, old and new!! I hope you'll stick around for today's story.

So, I went to work today (actually it is yesterday because it's early Tuesday morning now) and it was kind of a difficult day for me. (For the people who read my blog for the first time today, I am a receptionist at a salon.) I was looking at the computer screen and checking to see what our appointments will be like tomorrow. The front door opened up and a lady came in. She said she wanted to get pedicure and manicure. I didn't see her face clearly at first, but as she approached the desk, my heart sunk. Her face was badly burned. I tried not to show any expression, but I was crying inside. It is none of my business, I know. Pity is probably the last thing the lady would want from me. I smiled and took her name and brought her to the spa chair. I asked her if she wanted to drink something, but she said, "No, I'm fine." She smiled and thanked me.

An hour later, the nail tech who did the lady's nail gave me the ticket and ran to the back room. I asked the lady if everything was good and she said, "Oh it was great, thank you." She left the salon with a smile. I went to the back room and there I found my co-worker sobbing. She said it was too painful for her to see the customer's face and she couldn't take it. I gave her a big hug and I could only say it's okay to cry...

After I came back to the front desk, I thought about my friend in Japan who got married a long time ago. My friend and her fiance was set to get married, but six months before their wedding, the fiance got in a huge car accident and was severely injured. It was so horrible that his face was unrecognaizable.

She was not sure if she could be with him. She was having tough time looking at his face and it was really, really painful for her to see him like that. You love someone and you think you'd spend the rest of your life with him. But sometimes, things that are out of your control happen and it could change your life. She was honest about it. Then one day, he told her that she should be with someone else. She deserves better than him.

That's when she realized that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. She knew right then she can't be with anyone else, but him. Fianlly, what he looked like on the outside didn't matter to her. She was able to see what was under his skin, the guy she fell in love with. They are still together, happily married.

I can't deny that the day like today will stay on my mind for a long time. It sinks deeply in my heart. But I think when I meet people like today's client and realize they have the courage to live their lives as normal as they can and move forward, what I can do at least is to see them for who they are without feeling sorry for them. It's tough and hard, but I want to smile and look in their eyes when I say, "Hello!"

My question today: What would you feel and do when you encounter a situation like today at my work?

Have a wonderful Wednesday, everybody!!!

xoxo

Have a fabulous New Year's Eve and 2009!!!!!

I don't think I will have the time to post for the next few days - just like last week, it's going to be a very busy week for me!

But, I just want to take the time to thank all of you who have been reading my blog: I must admit my writing is not perfect (grammer sucks), but it has been a great joy for me to get to meet and know each one of you who have left me all kinds of comment on my blog. Thank you sooooooo much!

I'm so glad that I started this blog because I got to meet you!! How cool is that? I truly cherish the friendship that I've found here on blogsphere. I hope that we get to know more years to come.

Please know that I wish all of you the best of luck, health and love in the new year 2009. You deserve it!! And I hope that you will keep coming back here to see me.

Thank you so much everyone and have a wonderful New Year!!

w/ Love,

Maki

ps. Be safe and stay safe - don't drink too much!! :)

Meet My Mom & Sis....

Sis T, Mom & Maki

Today, I am doing MamaKat's writing assignment - this is my second try.

And I picked prompt #5: Who is the best listener you know? What makes him or her such a good listener?

The answer is very easy. I must say the best listener I know is my Mom. And I think I have to add my younger sister T right next to her. I usually don't talk about my family back in Japan and Hawaii. It is hard for me to talk about them because I miss them terribly and honestly, more I think about them, I get sad and start to cry. But today's prompt was hard to pass, so I decided to be strong and talk about my beloved family...

My Mom and Dad raised me and my sister by continuously saying, "Sister and sister, love each other and help each other..." My sister and I are only 18 month apart, so we're really close in age and whatever we did, we did together. I left Japan to study English at tender age of 15. Then my sister soon followed me after she graduating her high school in Tokyo.

Anyway, I am the baby in the family. I cry easily and tend to act like a little child even I am 35 and oldest daughter. If something happened between me and JT, I would call my mom or my sis T right away. And they are always there for me.

My Mom is an angel and she is my rock. I don't even know what I'd do without her. She is not judgemental. She just listens whatever I have to say. Even when I become emotional wreck and I could be saying something foolish, but my Mom always corrects the wrong for me by saying something really sweet. She wakes me up from those bad thoughts or feelings.

My younger sis T also has Mom's trait. She is a very good listener. She also gives me a very good advise whenever I need it. It's funny how I always call her and ask, "So what do you think??" - then she always has an answer for me!!! She is a very leveled individual who is a lot mature than me who is in fact, older than her. Kind of embarrassing, but oh well. LOL. And my sister knows everything about me - she even knows my darkest secrets that most of my friends or family don't know (and what would that be one might ask?? ? ).

On the other hand, I, Maki is a terrible listener or so does my sis T tell me. And I think the jury may agree with sis T. Don't get me wrong, I have had many friends come to me crying about their boyfriends or husbands and I have been there for them. But, I tend to butt in too much and try to solve their problems instead of just "listen"... Sometimes what people need is a friend who just listens to their problems, right?

So, I am truly grateful and fortunate to have such wonderful liseners in my life - my Mom and sis T (sorry Dad, I love you, but you're like me, not a good listener, but great at giving advise). It breaks my heart that they are thousands miles away. My dad always tell me when I call them crying homesick, "Even we're far away, our love will never change or fade. Distance won't matter..." - and I know he's right. And my Mom always say that I have a new family; JT, Ju Ju and Soapy. She is right about that too... But then, I think I'm allowed to miss my parents and my sister, aren't I?? If I miss them so much, does that make me a bad wife or bad mother? I just don't know..

Now I am getting sad again.. I think about my Mom who is on dialysis, who don't get to hold my daughters or see them grow up via live. Or my sister, who truly cherish, adore and love my daughters... And my Dad who would do anything for me or my sis or my girls. I miss them so much.

I tried the same photo above with my Mom, only this time I'm the Mom

This is last year's Christmas

Sis T & Mom

Me, Soapy & T

My Long Weekend

This is what I need. Sleep.

I am beat. I am totally exhausted. I could either sleep standing or sleep typing right now. This weekend was indeed super busy and I can't believe I tortured myself to this degree..

Friday night, I took my girls to the Music on Main - which is a monthly event at the shopping place by my house (literally 5 mins away). Every first Friday each month, We have a band and food standds etc, for the local to enjoy. I don't know why, but my familly and my friends somehow end up going there every month.

Anyway, we went there as usual and once the drinks were going, we all agreed that we should proceed to go to our fab bar in downtown SRQ. I took the girls home, put them to bed, changed and drove down to meet up with my friends. I had a great time!!!! But Maki did not think about the next morning which was a HUGE mistake. I almost forgot that Ju Ju had to go to school in the morning even it's Saturday because her school was having Santa Clause over for a breakfast!!!

From that late night with friends and cocktails, my weekend went haywire.

{Saturday}
7am: Got up for Ju Ju's breakfast with Santa.
9 - 11am: Breakfast with Santa
11:30 - 12pm: Lunch with the girls
12:30: Drive the girls to JT's mom's house
1:00 - 6pm: Work
6:30 - 9:30pm: cook dinner, clean, bath and bed time ritual with the girls.
9:45 - 2am: Finishing up the art painting for my friend's who is having a baby in 4 wks. (a little bit of blogging)
2 - 3am: Finally sit down on the couch next to JT and it's already early morning!
3- 7:29am: ZZZ time.

{Sunday}
7:30am - 9am: Shower, breakfast and getting ready for a baby shower.
9:15am: Leave house and stop at a Hallmark to get a card.
10am: Drive to friend's house
11:00am - 2pm: the surprise baby shower was sucess - she was surprised!
3 - 8pm: Arrived at JT's mom's to meet up with JT and the girls and everybody for Sunday dinner.
8:30 - 9:30pm: come home, get the girls to bed, put them to bed.
10 - now: clean, blogging and falling asleep.

This was so not my tyical weekend because usually weekend is supposed to be calm and the time to relax to recharge your energy for a coming week. Not having enough sleep is really hard on 35 year old woman, everybody!!! I realized how important to rest your mind and body because right now, I can totally feel my brian turn into jello. I can hear the sound - it's scary!! I need to go to bed asap!

But before I forget...

I received another award from Dorkys at Dry as Toast. This foreign award (which means the blog invests and believes in the proximity/closeness blogging gives us) . I am sorry it's taken me a while to accept this award, Dorkys!! Let me include the passage below:

"These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award.”

Oh my, I'm so honored! Thank you soooo much Dorkys!! I think I need to pass on to eight bloggers, but I need to give it a thought. I will definitely spread the love and make sure to pass this on!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, I am totally fading. Tonight's post is not making any sense. My broken English is worse than ever. So I am closing this zombie post now. It's time for Maki to go to bed - Good night!!!

PS. Thank you all so much for your input about my hair color. I am grateful to have all of you who take the time to give me the advise. I will definitely post my new hair once I go to see my BFF D this week! xoxo

My Drug of Choice...

So, I need to ask you everyone. How many hours do you spend everyday/night in front of your computer blogging?

Before I went back to work almost two months ago, I had freedom to be on the computer whenever I wanted. It was totally stress free. Now I'm back to work and because I am not able to use computer there, the only time I can blog is at night after the girls go to bed. I always try to catch up with comments in the morning, but seriously, I am having tough time separating doing chore around the house and typing keypads.

To tell you the truth, I sometimes feel posting a blog is more important than washing dishes. Isn't that horrible or what? I mean... I feel like a bad wife.

JT has already told me that my intense attachment to the blogsphere shows an addictive personality. He tries to analyze everything based on his recovery from his drug addiction. Now he tells me I am addicted to blogging. And I think I am. JT is so smart.

If I don't get to catch up or if I don't post anything for a day, I start to freak out. I don't think that's good. I mean, that's no fun, right? That's why I have decided to free myself from blogging at least once a week, so I can be a better wife and a mommy.

But what about you guys? How do you weigh youself when it comes to your blog? Do you do your homework? Do you clean your house and take care of your kids before you sit in front of the computer??? Or do you totally throw everything on the floor and hug your computer as soon as you come back to your house???

What a F%*k!!??

Call me Stupid. I deleted all the widgets, my friends!!!! Sob...

I was trying to download new 3 column template when I clicked "Save" without really reading or understanding exactly what that meant. Ta La~~~~, everything that I have built for the past four months is gone.

I'm so fortunate that the only thing I lost was widgets. But as you can see, I have to start everything over. I'm dying here. Hopefully I can create better layout or blog.....

It's 3:19am in Florida. JT is sleeping of course. My girls are sleeping of course... And I know I have to go to bed, but I'm trying to recreate my blog by using mental pictures that I have in my head.....

Uhhh, stupid woman. I'm pissed...

I'd Walk A Mile...

Hello everyone. Today, I've decided to try my first "Writer's Workshop" with Mama's Losing it.

I picked two prompts:

1. "I would walk a mile for a ________"

A. I would walk a mile for a cure for kidney disease. Maybe I would even walk 200 miles if I have to. I've already talked about my mom in Japan and some of you may already know that she has been on dialysis for the past seven years. She goes to the clinic every Tue, Thu and Saturday morning from 8am to 12pm, four hours attached to a machine laying on bed, so she can live.

She was really depressed and didn't want to go on at first when she started it, but when she learned that I was pregnant with Ju Ju, she bounced back and has been positive since. Her two young granddaughters are her will to survive. I have asked her to consider transplants which is a common practice here in the US, but my mom refuses the idea no matter what I say.

She hasn't been feeling well for the past week (hmm, maybe that's why I'm still sick...?), fainted several times and even threw up at the clinic after the dialysis. That makes me want to just fly back and be there for her. My mom is my best friend and I'd do anything to lift her spirits. She deserves to watch my girls grow up.

So, I say this out loud, I WOULD WALK A MILE, EVEN I WOULD WALK AND RUN 200 MILES FOR A CURE TO KIDNEY DISEASE!


2. Describe in detail a person who leaves no stone unturned..

A. I thought about my dad as soon as I read this prompt. He is such a determined person and he'd do anything to make his dream come true. I will make this short and sweet, so you wouldn't get bored reading it.

My dad was majoring in architecture in college when he met my mom. She was a daughter of a photographer who owned a photo business (yes, I'm talking about my grandpa). When my dad wanted to marry my mom, my grandpa said "No," because my dad had no photography background. Because my dad was madly in love with my mom, he gave up his dream to become an archtech and decided to go to a photography school. My other grandpa wasn't happy and totally against the idea because he wanted my dad to take over his archtecture business. But my dad went on to finish the school, he went back to my mom's dad ask for permission to marry her. Then my grandpa gave my dad another obstacle. My grandpa told my dad he can only be with my mom if he chose to give up his last name and took my grandpa's last name which is a very common practice in Japan in order to keep the family's last name going; not die down.

My grandpa only had two daughters; My mom and my auntie. It was very important to him that his business and his last name wouldn't die with him. My dad thought about it and he agreed marrying into my mom's family. Well my dad was second son, so his oldest bro could carry on their last name. I know it sounds strange to many of you, but that's how things work in Japan sometimes. So my dad gave up two things for my mom because my dad had to have her. After seven years they had met, my dad and mom finally tied the knot at 26.

Then after 11 years of marriage, my dad at the age of 37 realized that photography was not something he wanted anymore. My dad told my mom about leaving the place he grew up, moving to Tokyo and chasing his dreams. He grew tired of living someone else's life. Now it was my mom's turn to give up something she loved so much; her parents and a comfortable life. We moved to Tokyo, we struggled for a while.. My dad even took on a day labor job, but he never gave up. He kept on trying and trying and he finally landed the job he'd always wanted. He became a very successful sports agent in at I%G (I don't think I should spell every letter here, so I took out the middle letter) in Tokyo.

My dad is a person who would do anything for his dream and love. Granted he is a risk taker, but I truly admire him. I'm proud and glad that he is my dad... I love him!

Hope this is the final title..

I have changed my mind on the title of this blog too many times. It was "Let's talk about Love" when I started this blog, then to "Love in Mute", then "Love in Mute - Posh Mom's everyday life", after that it was "With Love, Sincerely - Posh Mom's everyday life", then it finally became "w/ Love, Sincerely - Posh Mom's Diary"

As you can see from above, I'm very indecisive, very much so that I had to change my blog title 6 times. I wonder how other bloggers come up with their blog title -- do they ever change their mind like I have? I'm 100% positive now that the title will no longer changes to something else. I love it... I think the title suits me : I will talk about love with honesty, I'm stylish who is into fashion and art... I can't wait for my new blog experience! I hope you enjoy my blog and keep wanting to come back for more.

Thank you very much for reading!

M

My First Step

Hello everyone! I hope all of you are having awesome Sunday. I have been bloggin in Japanese for a while, but I have decided to blog in English -- English is a second language for me, so if you have tough time understanding what I write, I am sorry... I will try my best not to make mistake and I hope you bare with me.

My blog title is "Let's talk about LOVE". I have been married for six years with two beautiful girls. I am so blessed to be a mother to my girls, but being a wife is not so good sometimes. LOL. I love my husband and I know he loves me, but the marriage requires a whole lot when I thought it would be a piece of cake... If you love someone, you think that's all you need to be in love and stay in love.... But I've found out that is not the case. Marriage is not just about Love, it comes with all kind of different issues: money, in-laws, etc. And you have to work at it to keep it real and fun. Some marriage fails and some don't.

So, I decided to talk about my life with my husband, my children and eveything else that come with it. I'm very excited about this new blogging experience that I yet to share with all of you. And I hope you'll keep coming back to see me because I do have a lot to tell!

See you soon.