Sunday, September 7, 2008

Would You or Would You Not???


Ok, I have been debating on this question for years. And I hope you can shed some light on the solution for me. What would you do if you find out that your best friend's boyfriend/girlsfriend is cheating on her/him? I don't know why, but this happens to me quite often. And I'm always torn between telling the truth and looking away, and let it take its own course.

Let me list the names of my friends whose significant others being unfaithful without their knowledge. Miss T.S. who was one of my bridesmaid whose boyfriend had constantly cheated on her and she was the only one who didn't know. They broke up two years ago and her new BF told her about her ex and she was really upset that no one told her.

Another friend of mine, Miss T.N's boyfriend also cheated on her many, many times, so her other friends informed her that he's a cheater, but she chose to believe her then boyfriend. They just got engaged and she and her other friends are no longer talking.

My sister-in-law, S's husband, actually he's my hubby's younger brother also constantly cheated on her and they got separated once. While they're separated, he was dating another girl while he was telling my sis-in-law, S that he's not seen (sleeping) anybody.

Now, my best friend Miss K's in love with my brother-in-law, Mr. D (the youngest of all) which I had written a post about them a while back. He pretty much tells Miss K everything, but sometimes his tellig truth means 1/2 truth and 1/2 lie...

Now, all my friends' boyfriends are my husband's friends. So I knew a lot of the things that my friends don't and shouldn't know. They all tell me or at least used to tell me how much they're in love with their men and how wonderful they're. Or sometimes, they tell me they got in the argument and they suspect their men were cheating on them or asked me if he's right for them.

My dilemma is this: if you truly care about your friend, would you tell her the truth which her siginificant other's cheating on her, or because you care about her, would you shut your mouth and hope for the best? I always have to put this nice smile on my face and say "Of course he love you" or "He's a great guy" or something along the line. It hurts me when I have to lie like that, but then what will I accomplish by putting my nose into their relationship and reveal the secret about their men???

Dr. Phil (that's right, Dr. Phil!) once had a caller on the show asking him about the same thing as I am doing it here: her husband's best friend's wife is cheating on the husband and because the husband is such a nice guy, the caller can't stand what's going on. She thinks that the husband should know the truth. Do you want to know Dr. Phil's advise??? He said, "Stay out of it!!!"

He asked the caller, "Why would you want to tell him that his wife is cheating on him? Are you trying to sleep with him? Unless you want to sleep with him, it's non of your business." Take that! Dr. Phil said whether it's morally wrong, it's business between the wife and the husband's and you are not ought to ruin their relationship. He'll find out soon or later or many he'll never finds out. Let them decide what's right for them because in the end, the husband may hate you for telling him the truth.

So, what would you do??? Would you or would you not tell your friend the truth???


RiverMist said...

hell no, I knew this was happening fo' sure I would run, tell the person, I can't live staying out of it, I would like someone to tell me if that happened to me.
* sticking tounge out at Dr Phil*

Alev said...

I don't think I could ever tell. I mean, the cheater may decide to come clean, or they'll be able to work things out. But when someone else gets involved, it just causes a mess and it may undo everything. I would never want to be a person to ruin a relationship, because no matter how good friends she is with me, she'll always look at me and remember me as the one to do that to her. I think it's not my business, no matter how much I'd feel guilty for keeping her unaware of what's going on behind her back.

RiverMist said...

well.. where I find my stuff is just a secret that keeps people coming back,
just kidding, I usually find stuff on and but most of it I just randomly find throughout the web on design blogs and site, some are copyrighted and CAN'T just copy and pasted but I get my ways. :)

Anonymous said...

I don't think I would say anything. I would let the cards fall as they may. Either it will come out eventually, or the cheater will come clean or the cheater may fix their way without things needing to come out in the open.

Maki said...

rivermist: Wow! You're just like one of my best friend Miss K. She wants to know the truth and she would do the same. I don't know.. I'm kind of opposite in this matter.. I like your new profile pic by the way. I always like the stuff that you post on your blog. Very nice!!

alev: I'm with you on this one. There are times I always hope to tell my friends truth, but then, I could never do it. I'm afraid that they'll take me the wrong way; like I'm trying to ruin the relationship or them thinking I'm lying. I hate to see them being betrayed, but then, I feel like it's not my business, too. Great to hear from you! :D

sealione383: Thanks so much for stopping by! I really appreciate it. I treasure everybody's opinion and I'm grateful. There are times I just don't know what to do in these situations, but I alway hope for the best. It gets so complicated sometimes:(

Caitlin.Chrsitine said...

Oh my gosh i absolutely adored this blog i ask the same questions see... i was in the same predicament and it was horrid. I just kept quiet and hoped they could work it out for themselves you know. Oh and thank you for the amazing comment on my blog like i have said alot of people dont take me seriously.

ps. i was wondering how do i get pics in my blog and possibly get a different layout instead of polkas?

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