Do you folks ever argue with your boyfriend/husband/girlfriend/wife??? My husband, JT and I had a bit of, well, actually a huge argument today... We, of course made up in the end, but it doesn't make me feel good about myself at all when I know it was my fault. And it makes me more upset when it was about something so stupid!!!
JT and I were getting dressed to go out for shopping today. I asked him nicely, "Hey JT, please dress nicely for me, K?".
His reply was this, "Ok.."
Well, JT tends to dress down, way down sometimes where I am like WTF??? I tend to enjoy dressing myself up even just going out for grocery shopping or whatever. My parents are both stylish and I grew up watching them dress chic and cool. So, I always believe looking nicely in public is important. Of course, I love jeans and tank top, too, but I enjoy being in lovely clothes.
Anyways, he decided to dress up in a baggy T and a pair of board shorts. He looked okay and off we went to the mall where I saw bunch of guys dressed nicely. Now, our conversation went from euphoric to hell...
Maki: JT, you're a very good looking man and I know you dress nicely when you have to, but I want you to try harder for me from now on.
JT: Eh? What are you talking about?
Maki: You need to dress well when we go out, it doesn't matter where we go, I want you to dress nicely.
JT: I think these look okay (looking down at his clothes)
Maki: Yeah, but see, look around, you know I like when people dress nice and neat..
JT: Oh give me a f*%kin' break. You know I don't like to dressed up for no reason. Are you saying you're embarrassed??
Maki: That's not what I'm saying....
JT: Ok, then let's go home. I'm done shopping today. (and he started walking towards exit)
Maki: Why can't you see my point of view??? (chasing him like a little duck)
JT: Well, you know how I always dress, you know this is how I've dressed since you met me, so you should never married me or if you don't like it, then leave!
Maki: :O (Leave????)
I won't go into the aftermath of our argument after the mall because it was ugly!!! I can't share. LOL.
Okay, I was kind of half joking and half serious when I told him I want him to dress nicely. But you see, I've always enjoyed watching "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy". I think it's nice when men pay attention to fashion. I know it doesn't come naturally for many men, but why do I have to be told to leave???
Even his mom told him before that he needs to dress like 40 years old, not 18 years old. Actually he acts like Tommy Lee from Motley Crue and he even looks like him. John used to compete for DMX and was once a high school champion in the nation. His style would be naturally that. But he looks gorgeous when he dress up for nice dinner or drinks. And I want him to look great for me 24/7. But I guess I am wrong to even think this way...
He told me after the argument when we came home, that I hurt his feeling. He told me that I'm taking other people's inventory. He totally misunderstood my statement. I wasn't checking other guys out. I was just observing how other men were dressed. But in JT's mind, I was looking at the other guys and wishing I have them instead of him.
I felt really bad about it all because he's right, I married him for who he is, not how he dresses. So, I told him I was wrong and I was really sorry... He accepted my apology.
Now, I have to learn how to let go of my desire; wishing that he'd dress good for me. Any good idea or suggestion? How do you deal with a situation like this if you were me???