How old were you when you moved out from your parents house? Was it something you had to do or chose to do?
It was the end of summer when I left my home in Japan at the age of 15, just two months away from my sweet 16. I headed to a private high school in Maui, Hawaii. It was my choice to move to Hawaii because I really wanted to learn English (and get away from my strict daddy! hehehe).
If I think about it, I was just a kid who wanted to do everything in the world, but had no clue where to begin. I couldn't speak English nor understand it. I used to eat lunch alone in the cafeteria because I didn't know how to go up to all the students I had never met before. The tactic of saying "hello" to strangers in school was my worst enemy because I was afraid that they wouldn't say "hello" back.
Things got better as days passed. After a year in Hawaii, I moved to Berkeley, California to finish my high school. My English was also getting better. If I could start over my high school days, I wouldn't think for a second and would jump on the joy ride. "Back to the Future" I say....
Not that I regret those innocent teenage years, but I honestly believe I would have been able to enjoy it more if I had known and spoke English like I do today.
Now that I have come out of my shell, I can say "hello" to the people I do not know (do you know what blogging is? lol). My world has opened up so much more than before.
But all and all, I am here today because of my "old me" who was 15, scared to make new friends at school in the land of America. I'm celebrating my 35th birthday in 8 days. It's been 19 years since I left my beloved country Japan. What a long road I have traveled, but also it has been one joyous journery.
Today's question;
How long is too long to stay at your parents house? You know, when you date someone who is 20-something and wanted to come over to his house, but he says, "uhhhh, I live with my parents." Or if a girl says, "Well, I have to ask my mom and dad."
Is that a turn off?
In your honest opinion, what age should we all move out from our parents??
Have a lovely weekend, my friends!
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15 comments:
Well first things first. Love the look of your blog. This is my first visit. :) You and JT make a beautiful couple. What a nice pic!
Secondly, I offer you a new bag of Cheetos to keep up your energy level for guest blogging at MJ's. The girl has NO good junk food. Can you imagine?
As for your question. Hmmmm. I can't imagine moving out when you did! That must have been frightening! I think even at 18 most of us were too imature to live on our own. I moved out within weeks of my 18th birthday, and it's a miracle I survived, lol!
I guess it depends on the person, but I think most people need their own 'nest' by the time they're 22 or 23.
Wow, it's been a long time since you left home.. I'm sure things have been a lot different if you had your current English then, but you learn things in time, you know. I say it's really amazing that you've come to the English you speak today from not being able to understand anything at all. It's a great accomplishment, not anyone can manage that. And about the age of leaving the home thing.. I say it depends on which country you live in. In some places you can hardly manage your finances while you are still living at your parents' home you know.. I can say here for example. Even if I wanted to move out, there is no way I can manage on my own. ıt's gonna take me years to move out. I still have two more years at school and I gotta stick around for a few more years to start collecting some money after I get a job. Yikes.. And I'm 20 already.. Should I feel bad? xD Well, anyway, you get the point. :D
I think the age depends on culture too. I'm hispanic and it's not weird at all for a woman to stay living with her parents until she's married. Parents, especially those with an old school mentality, feel that a woman has no right to go off living by herself until she has a husband (and then that's not really living by yourself now is it?)
I have friends who are in their mid-twenties that are totally fine with that (after all, that leaves them money to go out and save up). And my friend's sister is 29 and will still be with the family until her wedding next year.
As for me, I just moved this past June (I'm 26). I really needed to get out of my mother's regime and finally get some privacy (I always shared a room with my two younger sibs). Best move of my life (literally) although I do miss the food and the extra cash I got to keep from my paychecks.
All in all, it depends on the person, the way they were raised and if they feel comfortable living on their own. And some people are just bigger risk takers than others (like you!!)
well I'm 18, and now that I can afford it I'm looking for my own place.
I moved out and went to college at 18, then moved back in after college, tried to live on my own and had no money, then moved back in, and then finally moved to new orleans at age 25. So mine has been off and on. Its sad, but I feel like its more acceptable for girls to live with their parents longer. Well, its more acceptable to society.
Well, I say move out when your ready. If your 16 your 16. I say its all about your maturity and what your plans are. I moved out of my mothers house when I was 15 and moved in with my grandparents to finish school. I finally moved out of there when I was 18.
I graduated high school June 2 2007 and moved in with Nathan (fiance) around June 15th and we began a serious relationship around June 18th. (I had actually only ment to take a weekend away to stay with Nathan, but it ended up being fate that we fell in love.)
k trainor: Wow. Thanks sooo much for stopping by!!! Yes, oh my it was nerve wrecking to do the gues blogging! I'm glad it's over and done with. Ha! And thanks for the Cheetos - It worked!
I agree, it's totally depends on the person and the situation.
alev: No, you don't need to feel bad that you're still at your family's. It's depends on the culture, where you're from, too.
dorky r: I totally agree with you!! Culture plays a huge role, too. Many young people in Japan especially women do live with their parents if they're singe. Parents want their girls to stay with them as long as possible.
There is nothing wrong with living with your parents as long as you help them with rent, etc.
rivermist: That's great! As long as you can afford it. Good luck with house hunting.
Brooke: I think it's easier for women to stay with their parents. I would have done it if I had stayed in Japan. I love my mom and my dad - love my mom's food.
I think US is kind of strict when it comes to promoting kids' independence...
hixon's mommy: you're right. Move out when you are ready, want and can. How's your baby???
No problem, Maki. If you ever need junk food, stop by one of my blogs. I'll hook ya up. ;0)
Nice job over at MJ's. See...? Nothing to worry about--you did GREAT! :D
I moved out at 17 and never looked back. Go when you are ready, but I think past 25, OK, enough already.
k trainor: thanks so much. i'll definitely come by to your blog more often. I really love your blog! I wish wordpress had "follow blog" thing... :(
merc3069: wow I really like your line "Never looked back". 17 is kind of young too... I guess it all depends on the age and culuture, etc. Good for you!! :D
I have to agree with Brooke Hughes, the same thing has happened to me. At eighteen I thought I could move out and live on my own. I got an apartment near the college and really struggled to pay rent while trying to also pay for art supplies. I moved back in with my parents that same year because my neighbor smoked and we shared air circulation. Then, the following year a friend and I moved into an apartment together. This worked for two years but eventually money got tight on both ends and the landlords stopped taking care of the apartments. I then moved back into my parents. Recently, after graduating from college I tried to to find a new life for myself in New Orleans. Two things stopped that, first though I went on many job interviews I never landed a full time job. Second, even if I had landed a job 75% of my monthly paycheck probably would have gone towards renting in the big easy. After a summer of trying to make New Orleans work, I moved back with my parents. I actually found a full time job in Baton Rouge but there is no way I can pay rent with what I make. Hopefully, there will be some pay raises along the way and it will be an option in the spring.
Living with your parents has advantages and my long term boyfriend hasn't had a problem with it. Of course, we both wish we made money and could move into an apartment but right now we can't. He is finishing medical school and taking out loans. Staying with my parents allows me to save money and put some money towards purchasing better photography gear as my skills get better.
Plus it's easier to cook for four people than one! :)
I have moved out and back in twice. Most recently... two years ago. I had lost everything and was in a bad place. My parents took, my daughter, my husband and me in. We lived there for a year, got our finances straight and bought a house. I believe that living with your parents is okay to a point. If you are in college, or in an extreme financial strain, it is just fine. I don't know where I'd be without my parents. Great blog!!!
I think everyone is different. I have friends that moved out right after high school, but I know I would never have survived if I did that. I was just not ready. I moved out at like 22 I think and it was hard, but I think those first living on your own experiences really are important.
k trainor: Thank you! I will definitely come back to your blog for junk fix. Hehehe
bakergirl: Wow! You have been moving around. I totally understand what you're saying. I think there are many situations that living with your family make things so much better. A good friend of mine still lives with his mom after his dad passed away suddenly, so that he can take care of his mom. Every situation is different. Good luck with your job and your true passion!!(assuming photography?)
housewife: I'm 100% with you! When we moved back to Florida from Hawaii, we stayed at my hubby's mom's house for awhile until we could ask my friend to move out from our condo. It lasted several months. It helped us a lot and we enjoyed every minute of it. I'm graterful for those times.
lbluca77: Yes, I appreciated all the things my parents did for me more when I moved away. I think we often take family for granted. In the end, they'll be there for you when you need them the most.
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