Saturday, October 11, 2008
Feeling Blue on Birthday Eve..
I guess tonight was one of these nights that I feel somehow lonely and it happened to be the day before my birthday. I've been celebrating my birthday for the past three nights by going to my friends' houses having drinks and great dinners, and it is not even my birthday yet, because you know, this one is pretty big. I am going to be 35!
Maybe because I've got period (clearing my throat; excuse me gentlemen) or maybe it's simply I'm getting emotional that today is my last day of 34, but I'm feeling so blue. Or maybe because I had a little argument with JT. Why did we have to do that before my birthday? Couldn't we just get along??
I have been thinking about my life as a whole and I am afraid to look back what I have accomplished throughout the year. And as much as I'd like to hope that I have done many good things, I know I really haven't done much at all except being a good mother to my daughters and a wife to my husband. Some say that's good enough, but I have a dream and I want to make it come true. But more I get older, I feel like the dream becomes more distant and further away from reach.. I felt so alone, so I cried while laying next to my youngest daughter who is sound asleep...
Okay, usually I am very optimistic and I would say, "Oh, my life is great!! Yay! Dream will come true as long as you work hard towards it!!!" But, oh no, not tonight.... Big, big sigh...
My hubby is throwing me a huge birthday for me tomorrow night and all the people I love are getting together for me. What else can I ask for?? I am a lucky woman, but then I feel like I am so unwanted sometimes. Am I crazy to feel this way or what?
So, I need your help, my friends. Please tell me; what would you do to pick your mood up? Do you guys ever feel this way even when you are usually an upbeat person? Is it just me or do we all go through this emotional roller coaster sometimes in our lives???
Hope you're having a nice weekend!
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