Thursday, October 2, 2008

I'm drained..

First off, I have a great news everybody!!!

I didn't get fired today! Yaaaaaaayy!

But honestly, I am exhausted and I'm drained. I got up 6:30am and drove my BFF Miss K's daughter Little Miss M to her school and then drove my daughter to her school.

Then I quickly posted my last blog and went to work.....

It was indeed hard day for me. Not because the work was difficult to do or learn but because I was away from my baby Soapy the longest time for the first time since she was born. I could not stop thinking about her.

Then this lady came in with her little daughter who was 2 1/2 years old, the same age as my Soapy. The mom was getting pedicure as she read a book her daughter who sits quietly on her lap. I was almost in tears because I wanted to hold my girls. How pathetic!

When I came home, the girls (Ju-Ju and Soapy) ran to me and gave me huge hugs.. Then I started crying. I was so happy to see my daughters. It's funny, I go out with my hubby and friends sometimes, and I am very excited when I do. I don't know why, but today was somewhat different. I felt like I was missing all the good stuff in my daughters' lives. I may be PMS'n but seriously, I missed my girls so much. And I really don't like it...

I have to go back to work tomorrow again and I won't see my girls until later the evening. I honestly have found new respect for all those working mom's out there... They work hard and they come home and be the moms they need to be.

I am still trying to get used to all the craziness and the new lifestyle that I need to adjust. I am sure I will be seeing crazy clients soon or later, but today, my heart is a bit low...


Alev said...

Hahahaha, there was no reason for you to get fired on the first day anyway.. :D I'm glad you had a good day at work. Must be real hard for you to stay away from your girls because you were kinda taken away from them rather than you leaving them behind voluntarily like when you go out with friends and such. You'll get used to it, hang in there! And if you decide that you can't handle it in time, you can always quit you know. :) But don't give up without trying!

Dorkys R. said...

Aww Maki, don't worry it'll def get better. Plus it was all so sudden so you didn't really get a chance to prepare for this huge change. But I'm happy you just jumped out there- it'll be great, you'll see. This is a whole new phase in your life and change isn't always so easy :)

MJ said...

Aww, it's sweet how much you love your girls. I'm sure you will get used to the change, but for now (((hugs))).

It's not even close to the same, but the first time I left my Yorkie pup (Panther, practically my child) with my boyfriend's mom, I left in tears! I had never left him for so long, and I felt so bad! I was so afraid he would think I was abandoning him!

Hang in there, you'll adjust!

RiverMist said...

awwww, that's too sweet
at least your are not a single working mom.
now that would be hard!

Brooke Hughes said...

Oh, Im sorry! I'm sure it was hard, but it will get easier. I have so much respect for working moms!

merc3069 said...

Just reading this hurt my heart. I know eventually I will have to go back to work, but I completely empathsize with you. Staying at home is hard, but I definitely respect all those working moms who really work 2 jobs! Maegan said...

Ohhhhh!!! you're so not pathetic! I am working now to afford to stay at home when we have babies ..I want that life so badly :) only one more day!

Rachel said...

It is hard but you cherish the moments more and you have a break and then your excited when you get to see them and hear about what they learned.
It will slowly get easier...or maybe not...but your kids will love you regardless!

thanks for the kind words :)

Maki said...

*To All of You*

I really want to leave comment back to each of you, but it's 1:30am and I need to go to bed tonight.

I just want to thank all of you for the kind and warm comments for me. I really do cherish these comments and I was reading them on my BB at work telling myself I would be okay.

Thank you soooo much x zillions.


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