For the past few weeks, I have had tough time going to bed or falling asleep. Even when my body says I'm exhausted and need some sleep, I find myself either facing computer @ 2 am or in bed tossing and turning for hours, just to realize it's 3am. It has to do a lot with uneasiness and uncertainty that my life brings at the moment, non-stop thoughts racing through my tiny brain. It also has to do a lot with my husband losing the job in December and hasn't been able to find a new job for over a month. And it's making me really nervous.
And that has got me into thinking about my life lately. A lot. What is my life and what's in it; what is my choice in life that I can provide the best for my daughters? I'm trying to figure out the meaning of life itself...
The question that comes to my mind always and first is, "What is happiness?" - is it wealth? Is it all the money you make and how rich you can be? Does it have to be fame? If you're a Hollywood star, would that make you happy (because they are loaded!!)? Or is it the simple thing you have and feel in your life; looking at the beautiful blue sky or feeling the beautiful breeze. What is happiness?
I know the answer, and for me, it is my two daughters. As cheesy as it may sounds, my daughters are my everything and they have shaped my happiness the moment they were born. But when I feel I am not doing my job to provide what they deserve, I question my ability as a mother.
Life brings you expected and unexpected events and some times you have no control over what's to come. Honestly, JT losing his job was one of those unexpected events that we had no control over and it's not fair to blame him. But I can't deny the fact that it has given us tremendous grief and trial. It sucks because the finacial burden has weigh so much on our relationship right now that even when I know money is not everything, it is definitely causing the tention between me and my husband, hense I often ask myself, "is money = happiness?" That is kind of shallow, I know..
Today JT is going for another interview. I am praying. I'm praying really hard that he gets this job. We are in serious need of a miracle...
What is happiness to you, dear readers? Are you happy now?
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18 comments:
First my prayers are with you and best of luck on JT"s job interview.
Second - happiness for me is security. Yes, that can be linked to money, but just because you have money doesnt mean you have security. I like knowing that I am on stable ground, the bills are paid, and there's food in the fridge. I have the freedom to make whatever decision I want because of that stability. Having to make choices because you feel you have to is what leads to unhappiness.
Money definitely doesn't guarantee happiness nor does it make the world go round. But the sad reality is, we need it to survive and function in this world! It shouldn't be someone's everything though, and as long as you have enough to live comfortably and provide for the people in your life, then I say that should be happiness!
I wish you and your husband all the best! You seem to be a beautiful person inside and out, and even though I'm not a very religious person, I believe that God rewards people like you.
It is not cheesy to say that your happiness lies with your daughters. As a mother it's hard not to look at your children and your heart not swell. I actually pity men sometimes because they are not able to experience the pleasure of giving birth and life to something so important.
Money does not buy happiness but it sure can help. I'll pray for you and yours and the best of luck to your little family! May you be blessed very, very soon!
Hearts!
xoxo!
I find happiness in the little things. The smell of my babies after a bath, a smile.... It isn't easy these days to find happiness. I hope that you find some soon.
I enjoy reading your blog, know that I am praying for your husband. It must be pretty hard when someone in the family loses their job. I am thankful for my husband job, lots of people got laid off, but he still has his. So I am always reminding myself to be thankful because of him working I do not have to work I can stay at home and be with the kids. I am praying let me know how it goes. Have a great day. I forgot to say Money is not everything but we do need money to survive in this world, but to me the most important thing is to be happy and healty as a family.
family equates to happiness for me. Good luck on his interview.
Good luck to JT on his interview.
Happiness= a significant other that TRULY loves me for me and not because of what I can do for them.
I'm thinking of you and JT and I hope his interview goes well!!!
For me, right now, happiness would be being settled. Having an apartment in the same city as my boyfriend and having a job that I feel fulfilled in. I'm the kind of person who can be all crazy and buy a ticket to fly somewhere just for the weekend, or put together a last minute european adventure...but I have to have my home life settled to do that. Because it hasn't been settled ( and my crap is exploding out of my parents house) I haven't been very happy lately.
However, just like JT I'm putting out applications and feelers and hoping something positive happens.
I know money doesn't = happiness but it sure can make us happier. It sucks that it has to work that way, but it does.
For me, happiness is love in your life. It sounds like you have lots of that!
Here's to JT getting the job!
The simple things in life are the things that bring people happiness. You shouldn't question your ability as a mother. Your girls don't care about how much money you have. They only care about the love you give them. As they grow up, they too will experience hardships in life. You get a chance as a mother to show them how you handle those. You handle them together, as a family. Best wishes to you and your family. I have and will continue to pray for you.
Good luck to JT on the job interview! Hmm happiness. I think happiness is being content with your life, your job and the people in it. It's looking at a week or month and seeing you have more good days than bad.
Good luck to JT and your family in this time Maki- I pray his interview goes well!
I wouldn't say money grants happiness, only that money makes it easier to focus on the things that truly do make you happy!
My happiness is in sleep, because I get so little of it :) And in Ryan, for he is such a blessing to me. Also, in the worship music that makes me cry and the church services that light a fire under my faith. Those things make me so joyous!
Dear everyone on here:
So, JT's interview didn't go well - he thinks he didn't get the job.
But, thank you all so much for your prayer and support. It means a lot to me:) Financially, we're having tough time for the first time in our relationship (although it's not that we can't survive - we're just not used to budgeting).
Right now, Ju Ju is sleeping in her room and Soapy is drawing right next to me (almost midnight!). This is my happiness. And oh, don't forget my husband! He is my part of life = happiness. LOL. I'll try to stay positive, pray and have faith.
Thank you so much all my girlfriends - I do hope, too, that my husband gets a new job soon. Real soon! xoxo
p.s. so sorry for not commenting back each one of you today like I normally do...
It is not cheesy at all that your daughters are your happiness. It would be cheesy or even worse if they were not. And how could they not be with those sweet faces they have.
For me as long as I feel content and everything is at least ok then I am happy. I don't expect life to always be good, cause then when it is not it is much harder to handle. So as long as I feel content then I am happy.
wow.. this has been on my mind for a while now, I have been asking myself about my happiness lately also, but I have realized that I have everything to be happy about just right here in my home: my girls, my husband, my family.The reality is that we need jobs to be able to provide for those we love but our jobs do not make who we are, seing my children grow is a source of great happiness for me. Good luck to your husband in his job hunt.
I'm a big believer in that things happen for a reason so it's understandable that it's tough right now but hopefully in the future you will see why it happened and maybe look back and reflect that it was a good thing.
best wishes to you and your family!
Luca: Thank you soooo much for the kind words, sweetness!! You're so right..
Lalapoo: I do think about it. My happibess is about my family being happy. You have a wonderful family!
Tiffany: I do believe that, too and I hope everyday that it happens soon... Thanks so much.
Money is not happiness, but unfortunately you have to have some to be able to survive in this world. So, it's making it tense and it causes you problems, but try not to take it out on each other, I'm sure things will go back on track, just try to hang in there.
And about your daughters; it seems to me that you do everything in your power to make their lives easier and better; and still you think it's not enough! I think that equals to a good mother anyway. :D
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