Deja Vous

They are my daughters (well, most of you already know that.) Ju Ju & Soapy. They are very close and love each other very much. And watching them grow up has given me tremendous joy, no doubt about it.

There are one thing that's been bothering me for a while and it often makes me sad and I need to talk about it.

When we are out, it alwasy makes me happy when people look at my girls and tell me that they are adorable or pretty. I'm grateful for their kind words. But lately, many people only notice Soapy. I think it has to do with her age and how tiny she is - she is like a little peanut running around the world and I must admit, she is cute. But when people go up to only Soapy, I know, there is Ju Ju standing next to her. She looks up and smile at the adults hoping they would say something to her, but usually they go crazy on Soapy and walks away. The disappointment in her face tears me up inside. I guess Ju Ju is getting used to it, so when people notice Soapy, she automatically comes to me and hold on to my hand. I usually hold her hand tightly and look at her and smile....

As you can see from the photo, Ju Ju looks just like me and Soapy looks like her daddy. My BFF K who sometimes watches my girls when I am working, told me the other night that many people have told her that Soapy is like a porcelain doll, absolute gorgeous girl. Like I said, I am grateful when people talk about my daughter the way they do. I just sometimes don't know how to deal with the situation with Ju Ju...

I rememer when I was a little girl, I went through the same thing. My younger sister had big round eyes, unlike my tiny eyes. She was really, really a cute girl. There were times that the scout for the talent agency wanted to use her as a child actress in Japan. My sister was shy, she refused, but I used to tell her she should do it. Anyway, whereever we go as family, people used to say how cute my sister was and ususally they had nothing to say about me. I am not holding any grudges, actually I was really proud and happy when people talk highly of my little sister. But it did affect how I looked at myself - I used to think I was ugly. My mom continuously told me how pretty I was when I was little. I think she was worried about me. She said, "You may not like your eyes (because I used to complain about it), but you will be very happy that you have your looks when you grow up. So, don't change a thing..."

My insecurity about my look has changed drastically for the past 15 years or so ever since I gradauted high school. I still adore women with round big eyes - but I am extremely happy with the way I look. My mom was right.

I just hope Ju Ju knows that she is the most gorgeous girl in the world.. I don't want people's opinion to ruin her...

So, do you have any suggestion how to deal with a situation like this? Any advise??